Workplace fun

Because I so love this place, I've decided to share with you some of the nicknames my friends and I have come up with for various people here. I've also thrown in some other acronyms. A lot of these came from the brain of ABM (more info below) so I'd like to shout out to him.

HHDC (Hot Headed Dominican Chick) - that would be me. Or as people here like to say to sound smarter than they are (oh, the irony of it all): "myself".
ABM (Angry Black Man) - my partner in crime. Notice the theme of anger here.
DDS, PB (Don't Do Shit, Platinum Balls) - refers to a friend of ours who takes frequent, unplanned time off and is always getting away with murder.
BBB (Blah, blah, blah) - refers to another friend who has the gift of gab (and is also a quite funny stand-up comedian)
The gimp - my friend, who's on a wheelchair, calls herself that every once in a while
BAH (Bitterness, Anger, & Hatred) - another partner in crime who absolutely HATES his job here (can't you feel the love)
SLT (Spiteful Little Troll) - someone I tolerate but who is hated by BAH.

Ok, that about wraps up the people I'm actually friendly with. Here are some of the names for people I have less cordial relationships with.

DB, CT ('Da Boss, Camel Toe) - refers to the head of our group (very much disliked by ABM). She tends to like to show of her wares . . .
WB, FMF (WonderBoy, Funk Master Flex, aka StankBoy, Stink, Superman, etc.) - my annoying co-worker who thinks he's reached Nirvana here at this stupid place. He's an alcoholic in denial and has a bad sense of fashion (acid washed jeans went out LONG ago!). There are reports that he's one of those guys that does NOT wash his hands after using the bathroom (looking at his mouse will prove it) and we all think he wears his clothes several times before washing them and that he only showers weekly. He's always playing hero as a means to make himself look even better in the eyes of CT. He frequently drops by to extol the wonders of our archaic system. I tolerate him because quite frequently he shows his prowess by doing my work for me which frees me up to do more useful things. Like this blog.
Stinky Not to be confused with the one above. This is a female with a halitosis problem.
LATC (Look At The Code) - micromanager supreme who recently got promoted to a position similar to DB's. When you go to him for help he responds in enigmas and tells you that the answer is in the code (No shit, Sherlock, but could you enlighten us by hinting at which of the thousand classes of code it might be in?)
Tank, Santa A horizontally-challenged, reddish-faced member of the group.
Twinkie Another one who is annoyingly too much into work . . . and into desserts (and anything else edible).
DogFace Refers to someone who should probably be on Extreme Makeover.
Beard A female with a facial hair problem.


Vintage names (from 1998-2000):
Homeboy - Used in the most sarcastic way since the person it refers to is the quintessential anti-homeboy. This guy is from Wisconsin and looks like a lumberjack (plaid shirt and all). He talks in a voice that is way too high pitched for his body and it is also in a perfect monotone (and VERY slow). Displaced from his hometown, he's miserable being only 40 miles away from the bad, evil "City" (and all the "different" people in it - a theme here in the lovely state of CT).
DLH (Dirty Long Hair) - musician guy who used to work here and had an interesting 80's hairdo.
Robin Hood - Long-haired guy who looks like he'd be more at home at a Renaissance faire.
The Sloth - refers to someone who used to be my friend when I started in 1996, but then became a "people manager" and became annoying. She ended up being my friend's manager and it was she who coined this name because of the sloth's failure to stand up straight EVER. She's always slouching and with her paunch out.

Tune in tomorrow where we will go into some of the written language oddities here.